Jaadoogari nigaah ki
जादूगरी निगाह की समझाके जाइये
आये है होश में अभी अभी न जाइये
पहलू में आज आपके जो बेरंग होगये
कहते है गुल वो आप से महकाके जाइये
लिपटी दिल से आप के जो राज़दार है
नाम उस किताब में मेरा लिखकरके जाइये
जुगनू ख़याल-ए-यार के अपने चिराग है
सुबह कभी तो लाइये घर आके जाइये
होने लगे है हम भी कुछ मशहूर शहर में
ऐसे ही रोज़ देखिये मुस्काके जाइये
aaye hai hosh mein abhi, abhi na jaayiye...
Pehloo mein aaj aapke, jo berang hogaye
kehte hai gul vo aap se, mehkaake jaayiye
Liptii hai dil se aap ke, jo raazdaar hai
naam us kitaab mein meraa, likhkarke jaayiye
jugnuu khayaal-e-yaar ke, apne chiraag hai
subho kabhii to laayiye, ghar aake jaayiye
hone lage hai hum bhi kuch, mashhoor shehar mein
aise hi roz dekhiye, muskaake jaayiye
- Kaunquest
Comments
thanx for all your comments on my blog...
do excuse me for delayed replies.
Did not follow line no. 7: jugnuu khayaal-e-yaar ke, apne chiraag hai
One issue I notice is that of weight (wazan). In Urdu poetry, wazan makes quite a bit of difference. I see the first sher is getting slightly out of weight.
For example, "aaye hai hosh mein abhi, abhi to na jaayiye" would be in wazan as "aye abhi hain hosh mein, abhi na jaiyee". However, the latter takes away some of the intensity from the "iltejaa" (request) made in it.
Like it a lot. Can you write something on "the good memories of the past"?
u had left a comment on my blog quite sometime back, thnks, this is not the right place to say this but thnks again :)